January 28, 2008

With Confidence

I can say, with confidence, that Buster Olney IS a made up name.

With that out of the way, I can move on to less important things. We bought a pre-natal baby monitor the other day. Essentially, it's an amplified stethoscope. It is supposed to allow you to hear the baby's heartbeat, but not until the third trimester. We can hear swooshing around and shallow thuds that Jess swears are the baby kicking the sensor. It's pretty neat and it's engaged the kids more fully in the pregnancy. Sara still screams when talking to the baby, because...well, because she's a ruffian and likes to scream. Jake talks in a baby voice to the baby, assuming that will make him easier to understand. Jess is in utter disbelief that I can't feel the kicks yet. She says they're gigantic and more powerful that she's previously experienced this early in her pregnancies.

Saturday is the official unofficial halfway point until baby's here! Unfortunately, I will be out of town this week attending a conference for new managers at my job. Fortunately, I will be back in time to celebrate this milestone with my family. We also have the sex-finding-out ultrasound coming up, which I'm now strangely excited about.

I've also started moonlighting as a server at a previous place of employment. Pregnancy is expensive y'all. (imagine Paula Deen saying that) Since I'm there purely for extra cash, serving is fun. I'm sure that if it was my bread and butter again, I'd feel differently. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel though, so that makes it easier. I also know that I'm doing it so that my wife and my baby can be more comfortable and have things necessary to their happiness. I suppose I'm beginning to understand how my Mom put up with the bullshit that comes along with serving for so long. Thanks Mom!

Lastly, there has been some resultant controversy revolving around the middle name selection for a male offspring. Apparently, some people feel that I'd be saddling the youngster with an unbearable burden. I've been told that my son will hate me for his middle name. I've been asked what I'll do if Big Z is found to have used steroids or the hgh. I'm still convinced, maybe more-so after the outcry, that Zambrano is a terrific and noble middle name. So, dear readers, I will turn this over to you. There is a new poll posted relating to the middle name issue. With this non-binding resolution, I ask that you help pick the middle name for a male child, should it be so. So please vote. And please comment with your reasons for voting the way you did. Your help will border on the appreciated. Until next time....

January 16, 2008

Dear Mark Grace,

I'm sorry for giving you credit for those extra hits. I'm not sure why I thought you were that good. I promise to check my facts about you more thoroughly in future. I have fixed the offending post to reflect the correct statistics.

Professor Bizzarro.

January 4, 2008


Baby Doctor Appointment Alert!

Sorry. I worked a lot last week and, as a result, did not have the time nor the inclination to write. Also, Jake has become addicted to his Webkin and has slowly taken all of the prime computer time away. And then the computer was doing some weird stall thingy. But that's all fixed now. So let's move on.

I've taken to post from the dead soldier-guy down. It was pointed out to me that it was depressing, and had nothing to do with Project Zambrano. I hope those of you that took the time to read it found it as compelling as I did.

I got to hear the heartbeat today! Jess lost the baby, again. He (or she) finally revealed him(her)self, and the most beautiful little heartbeat was heard! What an outstandingly great sound it is! I'm getting so excited now, I cannot wait! Then we read baby magazines, and worked on the birthing plan. Jess says we can't give it to our doctor due to references to random Mexicans and a profound love of epidurals, but I'm pretty sure that I can sneak it past her.
Mom Bizzarro has intimated that she'd like to buy a crib for baby, so we spent a portion of yesterday long-distance websurfing with each other. It really impressed on me the space issues we're gonna deal with here, but hey, it can only make us a closer family. Right? I hope so, cuz' we don't have much of a choice. It also impressed on me the sincere excitement that Mom is feeling. I'm really excited to see her with her grandchild. I'm excited to introduce our baby to my Dad. Really, I want to introduce him (or her) to all of the awesome people in my family that I've been telling him (or her) about.
Jess says that when I put my hand on her belly, the baby moves to my hand. Neat, huh? I never would've thought that that happens, but it sure is amazing to know. I can't feel the kicks yet. I can encourage them, however!
One last tasty morsel. We have finally decided on names for the baby. The girl name was easy and kind of came together very easily. Grace Marie. Grace is Jess's mother's middle name and is the name of one of my favorite Cubs (Mark Grace, if you're taking notes.) Marie is my gramma's name and has always been my choice for a baby girl. It is also my mother's middle name and Jess's. So the baby will be named after four of the most intelligent, generous, strong, esteemed, funny, influential, and loved women in my life. And one first baseman with 2,445 hits. After much deliberation, a boy's name has been chosen. Jess didn't like most of my familial names and I thought her names were very...bad. Not to mention the fact that we had to make sure the name goes with Zambrano as a middle name. Xavier was out immediately. Reed was a strong possibility, but was quickly tossed aside. Jonny was a very strong contender, down to the last few, but languished in a disagreement as to whether it should be Jonny or Johnathon. I don't much care for Johnathon but really like Jonny. There was some strong lobbying for Jonny (preferably spelled Johnie), but I had to block the outside interests. (you know who you are) Keith was bandied about. I had my heart set on Henry or Hank. Michael, Christopher, Benjamin, Ethan (yuk!), Harold (I fought for you, Dad!), Merle (in deference to Haggard, in memory of my grandfather), and countless other names made lists, were crossed off of lists, added back on, ruminated on, thought about, or tossed in the pot. Then I came upon an name that I loved; that really struck me as being right for my son (if it's a boy, that is!). It's alliterative properties probably took me first. The fact that it seems like a common name but isn't, struck me next. It is a strong and confident name. It's reminiscent of a friend of long ago. It feels right, much in the way Grace Marie felt right. And Jess agreed. So...it's Bennet.

January 3, 2008

Madame Zaritska's reading

Madame Zaritska, our resident clairvoyant, wants to help you prepare for the arrival of your child. Here she does her best to predict certain aspects of your labor and birth experience.
What she senses for you: The day you deliver, outside will be overcast. Your baby will arrive in the evening.
After a labor lasting approximately 19 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 2 ounces, and will be 20 inches long. This child will have light brown eyes and some very fine hair.
But there is more. I know you imagine your baby often. You wonder if your baby is safe and healthy. Why don't you go
listen to a baby's heartbeat and think soothing thoughts about your own child.

I found this on some website that claims to be able to predict stuff about the baby, due to your preferences for the smell of lavender, the last animal you saw, amongst other odd information. Jess'll be MAD to read the twenty hour labor part. MAD! But, she'll probably be alright with the seven pound, two ounce thing; since these other two were gigantors.

January 1, 2008

A Plethora of Goodness

After taking some time off to enjoy the holidays and the various and sundry activities that come with them, I have returned to the blogosphere! I know my peeps have been clamoring for updates, and I try to be one to not disappoint. Ok. Really, it was Johnie that clamored.
So much excessively awesome stuff has happened since my last posting, but I wanted to focus on a couple-three.
The baby kicked Jess! Well, who else would he or she kick? As Jess reached for the remote last week, she was startled by a tinsey baby kick. I was texteded at work to be informed that our baby was being abusive. Good for you, baby!
Secondly, notes on occurrence that occurred just this morningly. I felt the baby move! This is seriously the best, most double amazing thing that I've ever felt. I had my hand on Jess's belly and felt the baby move repeatedly. Right now, it feels like a flutter against Jess's tummy. Almost like localized gas, except it's the COOLEST LOCALIZED GAS FEELING FLUTTER EVER!
And lastfully, Saturday was my grandmother's 90th birthday party. All of my cousins and aunts and uncles were in attendance. What great fun it was to see so many happy people celebrating the life of such a wonderful woman. Grandma has always been a large presence in so many of our lives, in so many different ways. For me, it's always been Tang flavored drink in the closet and a ready batch of oatmeal raisin cookies along with all the tangential warmness that attaches itself so readily. Looking around the room, it was easy to see that Grandma Marie will live on in the easy smiles and laugh-ready demeanor of her four children, eighteen grandchildren, and twenty (for now) great-grandchildren. And the amount of dimples that came from her are too many to count! Also, my mother had a few shots. She decided that Jess would really enjoy the party favors. So she collected some on her own. She then enlisted poor Jakey into her life of crime, and made him sneak around the room snatching them. And apparently, she was heard loudly saying, "These stupid Polacks will just throw them away!" referring to the banquet servers. She remembers none of this. Sounds about right. I hope to have another opportunity to visit with my cousins (and second cousins) at a happy occasion again in the next twenty years or so! The conversations about hereditary migrational body hair, notwithstanding, fun was had by all. And to Grandma's friend Gertie, Jess thinks your leopard print top and hat are outstanding.
More to come in the coming days, as the holiday breaks are over!