July 13, 2008

I stink.

At this blogging regularly thing. But know this, lots of stuff is going on in Bizzarroland, such as the imminent moving of the same. Packing is fun! So is going up and down stairs alot! At the end of July to boot! The Keefer and Jeff are super fellas for volunteering their services. The friends of mine that ignored my text asking for help, are not so super.

I have created a Yahoo! Group for anyone that may be interested in keeping up with cousins and such. It's a semi-secure avenue for us to share pictures (without the interweb creeps checking them out), stories, plan drinking excursions, and the rest. I'll be tinkering with it over the next few days to try to maximize it for our usage. Anyone with Altenburg in them or a strange interest in those of us that do, should check out Wydra Means Weasel or Chicago Altenburgs at Yahoo! Groups. Interestingly enough, Wydra translates as weasel in English, and I find that glorious.

July 1, 2008

Benny's Done Been Here!

The Bizzarro computer finally died and with timing unfortunate enough to warrant me not being able to post about the seminal event so far as this bloggation is concerned. Bennet Harold Bizzarro was born on 6/14 at 10:34 p.m., weighing 9lbs 1oz and measuring 21.25 inches long. I broke down after a protracted fight with Best Buy and bought a new computer which I've just now got up and running. I'm unduly sorry about the anticlimaticness of it all, y'all!

May 30, 2008


I can't BELIEVE that I didn't include this in the previous list, but JMomma's sister in law gave birth to a beautiful little boy last Saturday, making me Uncle to a nephew for the first time and JMomma a biological Auntie for the first time. Supreme neatocity.

May 29, 2008

That little counter on the sidebar...

says that there's only 22 days left! How exciting! There's lots of news in Bizzarroland and very little time to relay it. There's been a Cubs game, Jakers going 5 for 5 in his second game this year (and me getting sunburned on my balding head), a trip to Lambs Farm, Jess going on medical leave (she's ok!), a parakeet named Flappo that lives with us now, and the purchase of Rip Stiks for Jake and I to play with. It's been busy and I'll expound more in the future, Jess is at the doctor now and I'm watching Sara, who doesn't like me typing, it seems.

Until then, Folks!

May 8, 2008

No Hitter!

In keeping with the baseball theme of this long, unfolding story, family and friends pitched a no hitter this Sunday. J's baby shower happened on that day, and we've been rearranging, cleaning, revisualizing, and re-rearranging ever since.

I've worried about a lot through this pregnancy, such as the health of the baby, the name of the baby, the proper abundance of toes and fingers of the baby, my ability to be a father (I think that I have the Dad thing down pretty well, I had an outstanding role model), my ability to properly provide for three short people with my time, my ability to properly provide all the necessary vittles and such that three short people mouths require, amongst many other various and sundry issues. The one thing that I've never once worried about is the supreme abundance of loving, generous, humorous, caring, intelligent people that I have to rely on when/if any of the above issues becomes a problem. Our family and friends reinforced that in a major way this weekend.

My mother's hard work in planning and executing this event really shone through. It's one of life's treasures to have a mother, so deeply caring and devoted as mine. Mom, all of your diligent research into everything necessary for Benny serves to belay how excited you are for his arrival. He is a very lucky boy to have a gramma such as yourself. Thank you for being who you are, and know that I've never once in my life been anything but proud to be your son. And thank you for loving JMomma as you would you own daughter. It means a lot to me and I know that you do it from your heart, which makes it even better. Dad - even though you weren't there, your love and wisdom courses through my mind at various and oddly placed times. I'm never without a bit of hillbilly wisdom when I need it, and the kids are as flummoxed by some of the things that I say beacuse of you, as I was when you said them to me. (seriously, how hot IS a goatburger?!) Thanks for allowing Mom to be happy in life and for supporting her in her baby-related binges. You're the bee's knees, Pop.

JMomma's Momma - Your support through this, although unspoken between us, is much appreciated. I trust that my family didn't scare you too much and I'm very happy that you've gotten to see a little bit about who I am through them. (On an unrelated note, Seussical the Musical featuring Dylan was surprisingly, amazing good. He's a very talented young man, and you should be as proud of him as you are. ((On another unrelated note, He's a respectful and kind guest while dining out and tips well, too.)) He's a great reflection of you.) I'm equally excited for Benny to meet you.

Gramma Marie - Thank you for not tripping anybody. I know you were in a position to reek some havoc and it speaks to your character that you didn't take the chance you were given. Benny's gonna love being your 21st great-grandchild, as much as you'll love having 21!

While nothing should've been a surprise, knowing what I know of how awesome you all are, somethings were. The Wisconsin contingent was well represented (Cousin Jackie, you still count as one of them. Don't ask why, you just do.) which was very much appreciated. I love seeing you all and I'm so thankful that you took the time to visit. My Auntie Kim was in attendance, seeing as I'm her godson, I should've expected her. But I didn't for some reason. She's still as beautiful as I remember and her hugs are still as full of love as always.Your hugs and presence were enough for me; your generosity was very much appreciated. You never cease to amaze me, Auntie Kim. Seeing you brought me instantly back to the weeks (and months!) that I spent with your family during my childhood. The grandfather clock gonging all night long, Uncle Larry's Italian flag cabbie hat, Greg Maddux being allowed to sign with the Braves, trips to Kroger, and ghost in the graveyard marathons in your cul-de-sac. Some of the best (Nicky's reaction to the Maddux signing is legendary in my young mind) memories of my childhood with you and yours. Speaking of, Annie is as beautiful now as when she first kissed me (that's how I remember it!). And I'll always call her Annie, even if she doesn't like it so much! Everyone else's attendance was no less special or important to me; these were but a few examples of how lucky I am to be me. To those of you that couldn't attend, you were on my mind and I'm sure that you would've been there if at all possible. Get well, cousins, I'll see you before long. Heidi, thanks for not holding my horrible phone call returning skills against Benny and I (I know that you're an English teacher so I made that all grammatical.).You are a great friend, and will always be.

Thank you again. You've chastened and humbled me yet once more. Benny is in for a ride with this family, and it's one that he'll never want to get off.

April 21, 2008

Gabriel Has Been Nixed.

JMomma is a middle name tyrant. Benny may not have a middle name, at this rate. Which would be a fitting tribute to his Grandpa Harold. I'm still pushing Zambrano, with a new emphasis on 0 (the number not the letter) as my 1a choice. You see, Haroldo has no middle name. He receives mail with 0 (the number, not the letter) as his middle name. I find this to be uproarious.

April 16, 2008

Now you know why lions eat their young...

That's right, Deadliest Catch has season premiered. If you haven't watched this show you should definitely make some time to enjoy the crab fishermen of the Bering Sea. Jake and I watch it (he thinks that it's happening live) and marvel at what these guys put themselves through. It is truly a great testament to the human condition.

Jakers started baseball practice tonight. I love this time of year! He's already known in his league for being a masher, and he truly is. Even if I weren't his Dad, it is easy to see his preternatural talent for the baseball. Even better, he loves to play. He plays with respect for the game and his teammates and enjoys every second of practice and games. That's all I can really ask. It makes me so proud to see him helping out his teammates, being respectful to his Coach, and bouncing around waiting for his turn. Go Blue Jays!

JMomma had an appointment yesterday. Nothing major to report, except that Benny's turned the right way. He's been kicking J's butt lately with kicks and punches and such. And you can see him move through her stomach if you're paying attention. It's simultaneously glorious and gross. He still gets strangely excited when I lint roll her stomach. My child's got a head start on the weirdness that comes with his family.

On the middle name front, a new contender has emerged and I'll be making my case for it in the coming days. I was watching TV last night and it came to me. Gabriel. This works on a couple different levels for me. There's religious overtones, and the name is reminiscent of a family that's been close to me and mine for as long as I can remember. We'll see how JMomma takes to Bennet Gabriel.

Until next time!

April 6, 2008

Opening Day's Come and Gone

This is almost a week late, but here it is none-the-less. Opening day was six days ago, and true to form, the Cubs lost. Fukodome did hit an extremely exciting home run to tie it up. Alas, the excitement was short lived. That was the kind of moment that makes a person fall in love with the game of baseball however. I'll tell Benny of his first (pre-birth) opening day and all of the beers drank and peanuts tossed at random vendors.

Speaking of Benny, HE KICKED ME IN THE FACE. How freakin' cool is that? I put my face to JMomma's belly a few days ago, and started talking to him. I called his name and he responded by kicking me in the face. HARD. It's amazing how hard such a tiny being can kick! Ridiculous even. There's so much going on around here that I've struggled to find time to write about it all. I sit here now in a over-the-counter drug induced haze since I spent the last two days in bed with a severe Spring sickness. I've forgotten what it is that I set out to write about...

We got the glider rocker that we've been looking for. It's strangely exciting to pick out and agree on your first furniture purchase as a married couple, though we were almost spared that joy by salespeople that seemingly didn't want to take our money. In the end, we prevailed as our love and our scant monies are destined to do. It is the coolest glider-rocker ever though. It reclines. It has a 'stop-a-rockin' lever. And it's extra wide for easy access, which is helpful when you're wide in the middle (me), pregnant (JMomma), or four (Sara). The only downer is that the ottoman did not come with said purchase. I refused to buy it as it cost almost as much as the chair. How silly is that? I couldn't have done it based on principle alone. I reckon I'm too Polish to make such a crazy purchase. I won't say that it fits naturally into our living room, but it has found a pretty comfy home with TV viewage space.

"Mom, where does beef jerky come from?"
"How do they know which cows are mean?"
Laughter ensues.

This is a real life exchange between JMomma and the Jake. It amazes me how his mind works. I severely want to know what else it is that passes through his brain. I picked him up from school the other day and he told me that he was learning about 'satisfractions'. I hope my laughter hasn't poisoned the boy.

Enough with the rambling.

March 17, 2008

Opening Day's Coming Soon!

It is, but really I couldn't think of a better title. I've read that this is about the time that lil Benny can hear voices. Jess says that he gets excitable when he hears me. I fear that she's just yankin my chain to make me feel important in this process. Either way, it's neat because he hears me and likes it, or JMomma loves me enough to lie to me. I'm sure that if I were him, I would run and hide when Big Sister yelled at my mommy's belly, and me by extension. JMomma also swears up and down that he really loves the smell of bacon. This confirms that he's definitely my child. Bacon frying in the pan gets me out of bed quicker than a fire alarm. Coincidentally, every time that we cook bacon in this apartment, the smoke detectors go crazy. Perhaps it's a Pavlovian response.
A Viking friend of mine just found out that his ladyfriend is expecting a lil Viking in about 6 1/2 months. Get ready to ride the roller coaster BRand. I'm not sure that the world's ready for a super-nice, Spanish speaking, classically good lookin' tiny Viking with a preternatural love of Italian food and sloppy punk rock, but I suspect that it is. Although this should come as no surprise to me, hearing that a friend of mine is expecting his first child has definitively reinforced that it's Grown Up Time. Is it wrong that I refuse to stop dancing at odd times or making up and singing absurd songs at the drop of a hat? Or that fart jokes are still funny? It's funny how I didn't read anywhere that being an adult means you have to be serious about everything. No one ever told me that I can't blast the stereo and rock out with the kids when I grow up. I didn't go to class the day they taught you not to play video games and stay up late watching shitty movies in order to be grown up. It's just rice and beans, folks. I think the muchkins will appreciate more the fact that I've always been willing to enter their world for a few minutes, than the fact that I constantly try to be a better me, for them. Perhaps not. So it goes.

March 6, 2008


I just realised that my Aunt called me last week and I haven't called her back. And that one of my very best friends in this world called me a couple weeks ago, and I haven't called her back (you know who you are). And that I used the British spelling of a word in the first sentence and didn't change it because I think it makes me appear more intelligent.
Cedric Yarborough, of TV's Reno 911, was in for dinner tonight. I recognized him when I sat him and his ladyfriend, but I couldn't fathom who would confirm my recognition. I walked around the restaurant thinking, damn, who watches extremely funny American TV and not tele-novellas? ( I had an extremely Mejican crew on) As I walked by Luis, he said,"Do you watch Re-" " YES" I interrupted. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Yup." His identity was confirmed by his credit card, since I can't very well bug the television celebrities if we can't bug the sports celebrities that come in (and very often).
This is but a small representation of how my brain is working these days. I'm all over the place. So I apologise to my Auntie and to my friend. And to Cedric for not telling him how much I enjoy his show. (See how much better that is with the British spelling?) I blame this all on a phenomenon JMomma refers to as BabyBrain. I believe that I've caught it from her. Whereas she may focus on, say, what's for 2nd breakfast, I dwell in the realms of 'I'M GONNA BE A FREAKING FATHER IN LESS THAN 15 WEEKS.' I'm not sure how this happened. I mean, I know HOW it happened. The video that my Mom and Dad rented when I was in the eighth grade pretty well explained that. But I do not know what to do with it. It may be cliche to say that I don't know how to be a father, but I'm a walking cliche these days. A real softie, as the Asian would say. Hopefully, Lil' Z will understand that I've tried my best with him everyday that he's alive. I'll need someone to reinforce that.
Auntie and Friend, I'll call you in the next coupla days. I've forgotten it this long, right? In unrelated news, I've started a new blog that I will keep you appraised of. I will offer this caveat: Do not read it if you are not prepared to deal with the weird stuff that goes on in my head. So, don't read it to any Grammas that you know.
Oh, one more thing. Uncle/Cousin Johnie and Auntie/Cousin Crystal have graciously agreed to be God parents to lil' Z. Pretty freakin' awesome, in my opinion.

February 29, 2008

Middle Namage.

With a late push for Christopher, a surprisingly pleasant showing for Zambrano, and a conspiracy for Michael; the middle name poll is now closed. I do appreciate your vote-ageness, and hope that it's made you feel as though you have anything to do with the final decision. I gots to tell you Zambrano is still a very strong, very real possibility. There are also other options that were not included in the poll. I am very surprised that no one liked Lee or Louis.

It is incumbent upon us that the baby is arriving, and soon! Fifteen weeks and some change! And that's until the official due date. I believe that JMomma's gonna pop waaaay earlier. I have June 7th in the office pool in my head. Neatest thing about that day in history? 06/07/08. Awesome, huh? Although, I had a feeling about that day before I realized that. JMomma will never believe me, since I do have a thing for cool dates like that. Whatev.

This is good.

Click on the Garfield Minus Garfield link in the sidebar. Dr. Joel will enjoy the existentialism of it all. Very minimalist. VERY Funny.

February 21, 2008

Stuff That Is Good.

-Freshly made guacamole, with perfectly ripe avocados and orange instead of lime for the citrusy hint that is necessary to good guacamole.
-Realizing that at some point in about four years, I will get to take Bennet to his first Cubs game, and how cool it will be to watch his eyes light up at all that Wrigley has to offer. I am certain that this will mean alot more to me than to him. I am alright with that certainty.
-Feeling our baby kick. That's right. I felt him kick. And HARD. We realized that I was trying to feel the kicks in the wrong place, as Bennet is in the breech position right now. So a couple nights ago, I felt on the underside of J's belly, and KABLOOM! there it was. Awesomest feeling. It was as though he was waiting for me to put my hand in the right position so he could kick it. So, I guess he already thinks I'm an idiot. He's about fourteen years ahead of schedule.
-Knowing that working tomorrow night and Saturday night at the Big D and sandwiching an open shift in at my 'real' job, will leave me exhausted but with enough cash to buy the glider-rocker that JMomma really wants. And probably enough for the glider-ottoman too.
-Hearing that Jake and Sara miss me enough to have made Jess bring them in for dinner tonight. They really light me up and make time go faster. I've explained to everyone that works for me that the munchkin squad is why I put up with some of the stuff that I'm forced to at work. They're such cool little people. Sara learned about words today and Jake learned about George Washington. Did YOU know that he was our first President? Jakey does. He also got his second trimester report card. He has improved on everything that he needed too, but seems to be too much of a perfectionist with his penmanship, amongst other things. I take the blame and will try not to be so hard on him. (I don't think I'm that hard on him, but I do remember a certain Mr. Brewzzarro relating that penmanship is very important to a certain young Master Bizzarro.)
-Trying to figure out why Sara is such a motormouth in her element, but when you take her out it's impossible to get her to talk to anybody. Shy little midget. She does love having her hands washed in a public lavatory, though.
-Explaining to Sara why crayons don't go in salsa and to Jake why it's a bad idea to play with the crayons in the salsa directly after they were taken away from his sister. Chuckleheads.
-Going to sleep, next to my pregnant wife, and thinking of all the stuff that's good in my life.

February 13, 2008

We now know what we did not know before!

It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!It's a boy!

He's not here yet, but he IS a HE! Coolness abounds, dudes! It turns out that the name controversy has been necessary, afterall. He's one pound one ounce and is two days ahead of schedule. Revised due date is now June 19th. He has all of his necessary parts and is apparently as healthy as can be! I'm so super excited. True to form, he moved alot during the ultrasound. So much that the ultrasound tech commented on his wiggle-wormed-ness. He's already bucking authority and dancing to his own beat.

That's all for now as I have to get ready to take the cutest little four year old on a date. It's the Valentine's Day dance at her school and she has been gracious enough to ask me to be her 'date'!

February 10, 2008

Subterfugue Uncovered, Apologies Made!

I will begin this post by offering my deepest, most sincere apology to JMomma and JMomma's Momma. I was profoundly wrong to have accused and/or suspected you two of perpetrating a poll skewing scam. Not that you two aren't capable of such subtle evil, in this instance the truth has revealed that you are not the "Michael" backers.

Keith is. I never woulda thunk it. After a few barley-pops, Keith (once called Geek by my then three year old neice) admitted to his actions. He apparently has voted from every computer terminal available to him at work, thusly skewing the results. I suppose that he felt guilty because I accused others of his wrongdoing. In the end, he confessed his sins. Thank you for caring enough to debaclize the integrity of the polling process. Interesting, how knowing someone for twenty years makes you appreciate their dastardlyness in a different light, isn't it?

Truth be told, I like Michael as the middle name too. It's grown on me. Stay tuned, as we'll find out on Wednesday whether or not the controversy over naming rights was ever necessary.

February 4, 2008

Who Knew?

Who knew that being handsome isn't enough to win a Super Bowl? Eli certainly isn't and he won. Anybody else notice the spoilsport Belichek not being present for the official end of the game? Does that rub anyone else the wrong way?

February 3, 2008


I have yet to ascertain who is skewing the results of the naming poll, but when I find out who it is, I will proBABSly say nothing since my suspicion is that it's my mother-in-law. I will say that I think your collusion with Jess is dispicable.

It's Super Bowl Sunday, and good times will be had by all. Jake, 'Rion, and I are here playing Madden '08 versions of the Super Bowl and stuffing our faces with carrots, celery, chips, and beer. I am the only one having beer. It's fun hanging out with little dudes that have opinions of their own, yet are still malleable. Hopefully the New York Giants will win and make Sean happy. Unfortunately, I have no faith in Eli and Tom is so damn good looking. GO GIANTS!!!!

January 28, 2008

With Confidence

I can say, with confidence, that Buster Olney IS a made up name.

With that out of the way, I can move on to less important things. We bought a pre-natal baby monitor the other day. Essentially, it's an amplified stethoscope. It is supposed to allow you to hear the baby's heartbeat, but not until the third trimester. We can hear swooshing around and shallow thuds that Jess swears are the baby kicking the sensor. It's pretty neat and it's engaged the kids more fully in the pregnancy. Sara still screams when talking to the baby, because...well, because she's a ruffian and likes to scream. Jake talks in a baby voice to the baby, assuming that will make him easier to understand. Jess is in utter disbelief that I can't feel the kicks yet. She says they're gigantic and more powerful that she's previously experienced this early in her pregnancies.

Saturday is the official unofficial halfway point until baby's here! Unfortunately, I will be out of town this week attending a conference for new managers at my job. Fortunately, I will be back in time to celebrate this milestone with my family. We also have the sex-finding-out ultrasound coming up, which I'm now strangely excited about.

I've also started moonlighting as a server at a previous place of employment. Pregnancy is expensive y'all. (imagine Paula Deen saying that) Since I'm there purely for extra cash, serving is fun. I'm sure that if it was my bread and butter again, I'd feel differently. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel though, so that makes it easier. I also know that I'm doing it so that my wife and my baby can be more comfortable and have things necessary to their happiness. I suppose I'm beginning to understand how my Mom put up with the bullshit that comes along with serving for so long. Thanks Mom!

Lastly, there has been some resultant controversy revolving around the middle name selection for a male offspring. Apparently, some people feel that I'd be saddling the youngster with an unbearable burden. I've been told that my son will hate me for his middle name. I've been asked what I'll do if Big Z is found to have used steroids or the hgh. I'm still convinced, maybe more-so after the outcry, that Zambrano is a terrific and noble middle name. So, dear readers, I will turn this over to you. There is a new poll posted relating to the middle name issue. With this non-binding resolution, I ask that you help pick the middle name for a male child, should it be so. So please vote. And please comment with your reasons for voting the way you did. Your help will border on the appreciated. Until next time....

January 16, 2008

Dear Mark Grace,

I'm sorry for giving you credit for those extra hits. I'm not sure why I thought you were that good. I promise to check my facts about you more thoroughly in future. I have fixed the offending post to reflect the correct statistics.

Professor Bizzarro.

January 4, 2008


Baby Doctor Appointment Alert!

Sorry. I worked a lot last week and, as a result, did not have the time nor the inclination to write. Also, Jake has become addicted to his Webkin and has slowly taken all of the prime computer time away. And then the computer was doing some weird stall thingy. But that's all fixed now. So let's move on.

I've taken to post from the dead soldier-guy down. It was pointed out to me that it was depressing, and had nothing to do with Project Zambrano. I hope those of you that took the time to read it found it as compelling as I did.

I got to hear the heartbeat today! Jess lost the baby, again. He (or she) finally revealed him(her)self, and the most beautiful little heartbeat was heard! What an outstandingly great sound it is! I'm getting so excited now, I cannot wait! Then we read baby magazines, and worked on the birthing plan. Jess says we can't give it to our doctor due to references to random Mexicans and a profound love of epidurals, but I'm pretty sure that I can sneak it past her.
Mom Bizzarro has intimated that she'd like to buy a crib for baby, so we spent a portion of yesterday long-distance websurfing with each other. It really impressed on me the space issues we're gonna deal with here, but hey, it can only make us a closer family. Right? I hope so, cuz' we don't have much of a choice. It also impressed on me the sincere excitement that Mom is feeling. I'm really excited to see her with her grandchild. I'm excited to introduce our baby to my Dad. Really, I want to introduce him (or her) to all of the awesome people in my family that I've been telling him (or her) about.
Jess says that when I put my hand on her belly, the baby moves to my hand. Neat, huh? I never would've thought that that happens, but it sure is amazing to know. I can't feel the kicks yet. I can encourage them, however!
One last tasty morsel. We have finally decided on names for the baby. The girl name was easy and kind of came together very easily. Grace Marie. Grace is Jess's mother's middle name and is the name of one of my favorite Cubs (Mark Grace, if you're taking notes.) Marie is my gramma's name and has always been my choice for a baby girl. It is also my mother's middle name and Jess's. So the baby will be named after four of the most intelligent, generous, strong, esteemed, funny, influential, and loved women in my life. And one first baseman with 2,445 hits. After much deliberation, a boy's name has been chosen. Jess didn't like most of my familial names and I thought her names were very...bad. Not to mention the fact that we had to make sure the name goes with Zambrano as a middle name. Xavier was out immediately. Reed was a strong possibility, but was quickly tossed aside. Jonny was a very strong contender, down to the last few, but languished in a disagreement as to whether it should be Jonny or Johnathon. I don't much care for Johnathon but really like Jonny. There was some strong lobbying for Jonny (preferably spelled Johnie), but I had to block the outside interests. (you know who you are) Keith was bandied about. I had my heart set on Henry or Hank. Michael, Christopher, Benjamin, Ethan (yuk!), Harold (I fought for you, Dad!), Merle (in deference to Haggard, in memory of my grandfather), and countless other names made lists, were crossed off of lists, added back on, ruminated on, thought about, or tossed in the pot. Then I came upon an name that I loved; that really struck me as being right for my son (if it's a boy, that is!). It's alliterative properties probably took me first. The fact that it seems like a common name but isn't, struck me next. It is a strong and confident name. It's reminiscent of a friend of long ago. It feels right, much in the way Grace Marie felt right. And Jess agreed. So...it's Bennet.

January 3, 2008

Madame Zaritska's reading

Madame Zaritska, our resident clairvoyant, wants to help you prepare for the arrival of your child. Here she does her best to predict certain aspects of your labor and birth experience.
What she senses for you: The day you deliver, outside will be overcast. Your baby will arrive in the evening.
After a labor lasting approximately 19 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 2 ounces, and will be 20 inches long. This child will have light brown eyes and some very fine hair.
But there is more. I know you imagine your baby often. You wonder if your baby is safe and healthy. Why don't you go
listen to a baby's heartbeat and think soothing thoughts about your own child.

I found this on some website that claims to be able to predict stuff about the baby, due to your preferences for the smell of lavender, the last animal you saw, amongst other odd information. Jess'll be MAD to read the twenty hour labor part. MAD! But, she'll probably be alright with the seven pound, two ounce thing; since these other two were gigantors.

January 1, 2008

A Plethora of Goodness

After taking some time off to enjoy the holidays and the various and sundry activities that come with them, I have returned to the blogosphere! I know my peeps have been clamoring for updates, and I try to be one to not disappoint. Ok. Really, it was Johnie that clamored.
So much excessively awesome stuff has happened since my last posting, but I wanted to focus on a couple-three.
The baby kicked Jess! Well, who else would he or she kick? As Jess reached for the remote last week, she was startled by a tinsey baby kick. I was texteded at work to be informed that our baby was being abusive. Good for you, baby!
Secondly, notes on occurrence that occurred just this morningly. I felt the baby move! This is seriously the best, most double amazing thing that I've ever felt. I had my hand on Jess's belly and felt the baby move repeatedly. Right now, it feels like a flutter against Jess's tummy. Almost like localized gas, except it's the COOLEST LOCALIZED GAS FEELING FLUTTER EVER!
And lastfully, Saturday was my grandmother's 90th birthday party. All of my cousins and aunts and uncles were in attendance. What great fun it was to see so many happy people celebrating the life of such a wonderful woman. Grandma has always been a large presence in so many of our lives, in so many different ways. For me, it's always been Tang flavored drink in the closet and a ready batch of oatmeal raisin cookies along with all the tangential warmness that attaches itself so readily. Looking around the room, it was easy to see that Grandma Marie will live on in the easy smiles and laugh-ready demeanor of her four children, eighteen grandchildren, and twenty (for now) great-grandchildren. And the amount of dimples that came from her are too many to count! Also, my mother had a few shots. She decided that Jess would really enjoy the party favors. So she collected some on her own. She then enlisted poor Jakey into her life of crime, and made him sneak around the room snatching them. And apparently, she was heard loudly saying, "These stupid Polacks will just throw them away!" referring to the banquet servers. She remembers none of this. Sounds about right. I hope to have another opportunity to visit with my cousins (and second cousins) at a happy occasion again in the next twenty years or so! The conversations about hereditary migrational body hair, notwithstanding, fun was had by all. And to Grandma's friend Gertie, Jess thinks your leopard print top and hat are outstanding.
More to come in the coming days, as the holiday breaks are over!